Point, Blast, and Cook… and Wallow in the Burning Shame

Today I met Ted at a local Whole Foods Market to grab some lunch and do some grocery shopping. As we walked the aisles, Ted noticed a yellow can in the dairy case that said “Organic Batter Blaster.” Can you guess what this product is? It’s pre-mixed pancake and waffle batter that you spray on to your griddle or waffle iron. And can you guess how I feel about that? It makes me feel downright stabby.

Seriously, who had the BALLS to get this product Certified ORGANIC? This is it, guys: organic, as a certification, has officially been pimped out. This product (and the hoards just like it) are what give “organic” a bad name. Every time a product like this makes it to the shelf, my job (and the jobs of those who champion organic farming and eating food that doesn’t come from an industrial source) gets a lot harder. How can this product sit in the dairy case at Whole Foods? Who decided that this was okay? Batter Blaster is definitely NOT okay. Seriously, people, how hard is it to make pancake batter from scratch? And if you’re among the terminally lazy, why not just buy one of the existing certified organic frozen pancake or waffle products that are already for sale across America?

Each can of Batter Blaster will make only eight pancakes. EIGHT. How many pancakes do YOU usually have in one sitting? That’s what I thought. No one eats just one pancake; and most don’t even stop at two pancakes. So, basically, each can of Batter Blaster represents two, maybe three, meals. That’s a lot of packaging waste for not that much food. Sure, the company’s FAQ page says the packaging is recyclable, but my guess is that if you’re the kind of person that’s willing to throw down for a can of aerosol pancake batter, recycling probably isn’t a priority for you.

You want to know what the ingredients in this little bad boy are? Here they are:

Filtered water, Organic Wheat Flour (Unbleached), Organic Cane Sugar, Organic Whole Egg Solids, Organic Soybean Powder, Sodium Lactate (Lactic Acid from Beet Sugar), Dicalcium Phosphate (Leavening Agent), Sea Salt, Sodium Bicarbonate (Baking Soda), Organic Rice Bran Extract.

While that’s definitely not the worst ingredient list I’ve ever seen, I’d certainly like to ask what the eff soybean powder is doing in pancake batter. Seriously? It’s not like there’s a shortage of industrial organic products that use soy. Why make one more excuse to add an industrial by-product to our food? I hate soy, and I hate, HATE Batter Blaster and everything it stands for.

Unsurprisingly, this product has received a lot of attention in the blogosphere, particularly amongst the gadget sites. Boing Boing Gadgets, Popgadget, ShinyShiny, and Gizmodo have all covered this product, and the shopping social networking site Kaboodle dubbed it a “Fab Find” on their blog. Batter Blaster even has a MySpace page. And, apparently, it’s in a relationship.

Though Batter Blaster received mainly praise on the gadget sites, which isn’t surprising since as a concept it has a very Jetson-like quality to it, many reviewers did mention that it’s odd that a product like this could be considered organic. Even those bloggers who haven’t a care in the world in regard to their diet or the environment did sense the deep perversion of the term “organic” that Batter Blaster’s very existence creates.

I think that a product like this relies entirely on its novelty for sales, which means it probably won’t be around long. But I’m nearly certain that another, and possibly worse, “organic” product will pop up in its place. In fact, this seems to be the trend now. I wouldn’t be shocked if I saw a certified organic version of Easy Cheese hit shelves at Whole Foods, at least not now. I used to believe in Whole Foods’ standards; I used to think that they stood for something. Sure, it may be true that if the Whole Foods customer demands pancake better in an aerosol can, then the store should sell it to them. After all, that’s capitalism. But since when were capitalist ideals held in higher regard by Whole Foods than ethical concerns about the environment and the health of its customers? I’ve always known that the company sells quite a few “convenience” foods that bear the organic label, but I feel betrayed by their choice to carry this particular product. Batter Blaster doesn’t belong anywhere in my opinion, but if it must exist, it should be condemned to the shelves at CostCo. This food freak has no place in the Whole Foods dairy case.

I must say that my ultimate disappointment lies with today’s organic consumer. After all, this product wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t a demand in the marketplace for such a product and others like it. I understand a desire to buy Batter Blaster once, just to try it out of curiosity; I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that for just a split second, I found myself wondering what pancakes from a can would taste like. But to those who would consider using Batter Blaster on a regular basis, I’d urge you to rethink the way you consume. There are ways to eat ethically in a world where time is at a premium, but Batter Blaster certainly isn’t one of them.